Dear Lillian,
I've exhausted ways of trying to put my eldest son, who is 13 and in Form One, back on track. During his primary school days, he was an obedient and towns child, but all that changed once he entered secondary school.

His attitude towards life, his studies, in fact, everything has changed! He keeps bad company and has ended up being suspended from school recently. His sudden change has caused me a lot of heartache. Are there any feng shui ways I can use to guide him back to the right path? He was born in the Year of the Dog, 1994.

Appreciate your guidance, Steph

Dear Steph,
Yes, this can be a real problem. I honestly think there is nothing as heartbreaking or aggravating as helplessly watching our children lose their way and direction in life.
Well, the good news is yes, feng shui can be a real help here.

First of all, I want you to let him sleep with his head pointed to his nien yen direction. Since he is born in 1994, his Kua number is 6, which makes him a west group person. His nien yen direction is Southwest so make every effort to change his bedroom so he is sleeping with his head pointed to the Southwest. This is vital! Next, to make sure he finds some good 'friends' please go and get him his Zodiac friends and allies. His Zodiac ally is the Rabbit. Get the Rabbit compass if you can or a Rabbit soft toy to place on his bed near him. This is sure to make a difference, because the Rabbit has powerful chi in 2008. Observe him for three months after following these suggestions and see if it has made a difference.

Dear Lillian,
The year 2006 was supposed to be good for people like me, who are born in the Year of the Boar. Yet, I didn't see any good things happening to me. In fact, bad things that affected my career, finances and reputation happened. Now, my heart is sinking even lower when I read that 2007 is a bad year for the Boar.

It has been 'so far, so bad,' thank you. I don't know if my self-esteem will survive until the end of the year. I feel beaten and bitter. I tried feng shui cures, crystals, dzi beads, but nothing seems to work.

In my entire working life, I have worked very hard for my superiors to notice me and to gain the respect of my peers, yet, I am not seeing the fruits of my labour.
I also don't have 'mentor luck'.

I found one but he expected something in return. I am partly to blame, for, out of loneliness, I allowed it to happen. I cannot help comparing myself to other people who seem to get by and get promoted without even knowing their work. I am doing the work of three people, but my efforts are not appreciated. I apply for other positions within the company, but always get rejected. I am always the subject of gossip and back-stabbing, even when I try to keep a low people and concentrate on my work. Why am I always the one people choose to be rude to, to take advantage of? If I fight back and stand up for myself, I'm also wrong.

In terms of personal relationships, friends seem scarce. I value my friends, but few reciprocate my sincerity. I try to reach out to or keep in touch with friends, even those I have lost contact with, but sadly, I cannot establish any strong bonds. Will I be alone forever with no companion? And I cannot seem to meet Mr Right. I always attract married men. What should I do to attract more appropriate men?

I have read a lot of your books, and have subscribed to your magazine for the past two and a half years. You have advised a lot of people and I've seen their testimonies. I keep wishing that one day, it would be my turn to write in with a good story to share. I may have experienced a tot of bad times, but I continue to follow your advice and try not to lose hope.

Recently, however, I feel like a drowning person, as I am really finding it harder and harder to keep my head above water.

Please help me.

Thanks, Desperate

My dear Desperate,
From your letter, I would say that you have NOT gone through a bad year at all. Almost everything you complain about is an 'unhappiness' that comes from your mind, from how you are reacting to others, in your work and in your relationships. If you continue to have such low self- esteem and a negative perception of your circumstances, then my dear, the coming year could indeed bring some real dire consequences, such as you losing your job, getting cheated by someone you trust and so forth. It is only when ready bad things happen that people realize how tucks they were before.

You should read this book called The Road Less Travelled which essentially gives the message that life is such a miracle - if only we would realize it. I want you to give yourself a big turnaround in attitude. Stop feeling that everyone is politicking and plotting to make you unhappy.

Change your outlook. Stop comparing yourself to others, this is half the problem. Do not envy others. Do not assume that your hard work goes unnoticed. And STOP feeling sorry for yourself. Please get out of this spiral of self-pity. Go invest in a takeover, and a new outfit, and get a new hairdo. Then look at yourself in the mirror and think how beautiful you now look. If you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts, stop yourself and think just the opposite. If you can keep this up for a month, you will start seeing good things happen to you. I promise you that!

And if you are at my Extravaganza on Jan 13, 2008, do come and identify yourself to me and let me give you a very big bear hug. You need some TLC, my dear, it's called tender loving care! But you MUST start having a better attitude towards life. Don't indulge in sad stories or watch sad movies in which the heroine is the victim. Do not listen to sad songs and don't worry about whether friends are 'genuine' or not. It does
not matter at all. What is more important is YOU and your attitude to others. You are in control of how you feel. So start feeling strong, successful and attractive today!