Too’s a Company

Weekend Mail
19th -20th May 2007

Her name is synonymous with feng shui, but Lilian Too can put your home in order in more ways than one.

“People love talking to me about everything and anything, not just feng shui. I’m like their friendly aunty whom they can come with problems,” said Too as she settled into the sofa in her large airy living room on a Friday morning.

It’s a house that lives and breathes feng shui with every item, from statues and figurines to stunning artifacts, all boasting a certain significance and naturally, placed in corners that do justice to the ancient art.

Too is scheduled to leave Germany the next day – and that meant being up and about as early as 6am on Friday to sort out various things before her trip.

But keeping busy is nothing new for this globe-trotting woman and she sees it as an indication of having a full life.

Too, who wrote her first book feng shui in 1995, has since become a household name to many Malaysians through her television show, public talks and her own magazine.

And at every event that has Too in attendance, guests are never shy to approach her with problems and questions.

She said people like to come to her shows because they can relate to her as a friend, as someone who is sympathetic to their problems and many of their questions go beyond feng shui, touching on relationship, love and life.

It’s a role she is happy to fill, as feng shui, said Too, is all about life and how to strike a balance between health, wealth and happiness.

But having too much of one or too little of another, will result in problems and conflicts in daily life.

“Even when I’m at a restaurant or mall, people come up to me to say hello, make a remark about something and then share problems that they have. They’ve strangers but they open up to me and I’m always touched by the affection they have for me.” According to her, where unmarried woman are concerned, one of their main worries is finding love and happiness.

“Many of them feel life is incomplete without a husband and I think we cannot dismiss that worry because it is after all the natural order of things, whether we like it or not, or whether we want to admit it.”

But the problem said Too is that many young people get married for the wrong reasons and don’t think things through.

“In marriage, you are constantly exposed to each other’s weak or worst points and part of the deal is learning to live with those faults”, said Too, who has been married for 40 years.

“My advice is: Always get married with the idea of it lasting forever, but not with the notion that if you have made a mistake, you can back out.”

The current trend of couples living together before marriage is not something she approves of either.

“I am very broadminded but I draw the line at this. Why get together if you’re not prepared to make a commitment, so what are you afraid of?”

She said rising divorce rates today are also worrying to Too. “It’s a fact that the world is changing and women nowadays have more options and they can choose to get out of a bad relationship.

“But it’s also a fact that couples, particularly young couples, are giving up on their marriages way too easily.

When problems crop up, whether in marriage or relationship, young couple often react angrily and have a very short-term outlook on things.”

“But one needs to have the ability to look at the other side of things and to realize how forgiveness can be a powerful element.”

She said this ability generally comes with having experienced life and lived through its highs and lows, young people could do well by turning to someone with that kind of wisdom.

But it’s equally important, she said, that this voice of wisdom be one that is tempered with compassion and kindness.

“The last thing you need to hear when you’re in pain or hurting is how stupid or wrong you’ve been.”
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